Standing On Your Own Feet

Last Saturday, we went out to this fabulous outdoor dance event called “Lindy by the bay”. It was a warm sunny afternoon, and lots of people were out dancing. Ever since we 674_bac_fea_swingdance2_032707had two kids, we don’t go out dancing as much as we used to, but every time I have a chance, I ask myself why we don’t do this more often. That Saturday I danced with one of the best dancers in San Diego for the first time in a long time (who happens to be the organizer of this event).

I was a little bit nervous as I hadn’t danced for a very long time, but as soon as we got into it, I found myself totally in tune with his lead and it was so much fun. While dancing with him, I remembered this simple fact that in order for both a leader and a follower to have a great dance, both of them have to stand on their own feet. There is this lead/follow concept in a couples dance, and as a follower, I would follow my dance partner’s lead and go where he leads me to go – but I need to stand (dance) on my own feet. If I don’t have control over my own body or where I’m going, I might crush into my partner or someone else.

I thought that this is like a relationship. In order for a couple to truly enjoy each other and the relationship, or “the dance”, both parties need to be on their own feet. This doesn’t mean that they can’t support each other or lean one another at times. But when you are in a relationship, being your own person is very important. When you know and love yourself, and accept yourself for who you are, that’s when you don’t “need” the other person to make you happy. Dancing with a great leader reminded me of these things and that’s another reason why I love it – sometimes great ideas come to me while having an amazing dancing experience.

One Comment on “Standing On Your Own Feet

  1. Etsuko,

    You are a hard worker and I think it’s great that you take the time to enjoy yourself. I love the way you connected “the dance” to a relationship and I couldn’t agree with you more, we need to be individuals even when we are in relationships. After all, we were all standing on our own two feet when we met our partners and probably one of the initial attractions. Perhaps when we aren’t on our own two feet anymore our partner looses sight of who he/she is in the relationship with. Ever hear someone say….”I thought he/she was someone different” or “he/she wasn’t like this when we met”.

    We also need to be careful of those partners that take us off balance so we have to lean or depend on them. Thats when we loose who we are as individuals.

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