Letting Go

Last week when I was in St.Louis, my mentor Pam took me to this place called “Black Madonna Shrine”. It img_0658was a sacred place to honor all mothers. We walked around a bit and found a place to perform a little ceremony for Miroku (you can read more about Miroku here). Pam blessed Miroku’s picture – she took it in her palms and said that he will never be forgotten, but at the same time, we are letting him go. I placed the picture on a stone surface behind this statue called “life memorial” and put some leaves to cover it.

Today I received a package containing a beautiful silver pendant. On one side it has tiny hands and feet prints, and on the back, it said “Miroku 12/07/2009”. It took me a few seconds to remember who sent this gift, but then I came back to me; this company Juilian & Co, based in Coronado, CA has this service for those who had lost their babies, and I vaguely remembered filling out the form which was in a folder I received at the hospital on the day he died.

It is truly a special gift. I was also happy that looking at those tiny hands & feet and his name on the back did not make me feel sad. It was a celebration of life and a beautiful reminder that he was there. As I write this, I hear my husband’s and our two sons’ voices in the other room, happily singing ABCs. I tell myself, I am blessed, and I can feel that even more deeply now because of Miroku. He will be with us always and in all ways.

4 comments on “Letting Go

  1. How wonderful! It’s amazing, if we allow it, what a transforming shift life’s challenges may bring into our lives.
    Blessings to you,

  2. わたしも、あのUTCのスクリプスの部屋でみろく君が塚越さんと一緒にいたのだと、心に刻んでおきます。

  3. This is a very touching post. I’m very used to swimming in a sea of random information online, and it’s not every day that I read something which feels so meaningful.

    I’m glad to hear you’ve found some measure of peace with your family. I suppose the facts of the matter can never be changed, but the story, the meaning, and the experience of your family’s life (including Miroku) will always keep growing and evolving. And the nice thing is, nothing can stop this change either.

    Best wishes.