Tag Archives: Cross-cultural marriage

My Peaceful Family Podcast: English episodes in 2013

New Year. New Beginnings.

I started My Peaceful Family Podcast on 2/2/2013, on my son’s 1st birthday.

This show features a guest who meets one of the following criteria.

– Living outside of Japan and/or can talk extensively about life abroad

– Being in a cross-cultural marriage

– Creating a life according to his/her own rules

While most of them are done in Japanese, 11 episodes were done in English in 2013. It comes with a short Japanese intro & epilogue.

Click title to listen.

Vol 2: “Unconventional Lifestyle” with Nathan Agin

Vol 3:”Travel as a Way of Life” with Nathan Agin

Vol 4:”Let’s Talk about Food!”with Nathan Agin

Vol 13: “Love at First Sight” with Yukari & Mark Davidson

Vol 21: “Voices from World Domination Summit

Vol 27: “Japanese Mom, American Dad” with Mari Beal

Vol 28: “Bilingual Education” with Mari Beal

Vol 32: “Just Married!” with Nanae & Mike

Vol 36: “Turning Japanese!?” with Brett English

Vol 44: “Reflecting on the year 2013” with Nathan Agin

Vol 45: “Welcoming New Year” with Nathan Agin

You can find this show on iTunes as well.

About My Upcoming Book

As I wrote in this post in January this year, one of my goals was to publish a book. I got a book deal a few month later. I have sent out the final round of revision last week and now I am just waiting for them to send me a finished copy. In the meantime, a few non-Japanese friend asked me what my book will be about, so I decided to write a post.

My book “Cross-Cultural Marriage 101” (Japanese Title: “Kokusai Kekkon Ichinensei”). I wrote this book in Japanese for Japanese people who are seriously considering marrying a non-Japanese person. They can be engaged to get married, or dating a foreign partner for a while, or simply entertaining the idea about it because they think that it might be a better option for them based on their belief formed by their life experiences.

It is a lighthearted, yet serious and insightful book about what Japanese people should be aware of before  entering a marriage with a non-Japanese person, to increase their chances at  successfully creating a happy, long lasting and peaceful family.

I’m working on getting this book to major Japanese bookstores in other countries as well. If you have Japanese-reading friends who could use this book, please let them know about it. They can either get this book on Amazon.com or ask the Japanese bookstores in their town to order from Japan. I’m also in touch with Japanese U.S. Military bases in Japan as it has a special chapter about marrying a U.S. military personnel.

Hopefully I will get English version of this book published next!

Book Contents:

<Chapter 1> Is marrying a non-Japanese person intrinsically more difficult compared to marrying a Japanese person?

1.What’s your “Deal-Breaker”?
2.The reason why “Cross-Cultural Marriage” is said to be more risky
3.Benefit of “Cross-Cultural Marriage”
4.Does love conquer all?
5.Check sheet for your “Cross-Cultural Marriage preparedness”

<Chapter 2>  Why do you want to marry a non-Japanese person?

1.The real reason of why you want to marry that person
2.Be aware of your stereotype “If you are from XXX country, you must be YYY”
3.Is your “Dream life in XYZ country” real or an illusion?
4.The reason why you want to get your family onboard before the wedding day
5.A few words for the parents

<Chapter 3> Did you talk about this yet?

1.Things you need to know before moving to your spouse’s country
2.Things you need to know if you continue to live in Japan with your spouse
3.Your aptitude for a “nomadic” life
4.Could both of you live in each other’s country?
5.Critical factor – Eating habits
6.How good is your foreign language skill?
7.What are your expectations for your spouse’s Japanese language skill?
8.Don’t give up on communication
9.True nature of your relationship
10.Let’s talk about money
11.Do you know “pre-nuptial agreement”?
12.Insurance for rainy days
13.Where would you like to live when you retire?
14.Planning ahead – what happens when your spouse suddenly dies
15.How well do you know your partner’s family?
16.How many kids would you like to have – if any?
17.Raising your cross-cultural children
18.Know the Child Protection Law
19.It isn’t  easy to raise a bilingual child
20.Double income or single income?
21.Pursue independence so you can both be happy
22.How well do you know your partner’s friends and hobbies?
23.What’s your religion?
24.What’s your political view?
25.Your partner’s anger management skills
26.Asking for professional help
27.“Marriage” means to be on the same team
28.If you are marrying a millitary personnel

<Chapter 4> In case of Divorce

1.Increase of divorce rate
2.When divorce doesn’t fix things

<Chapter 5> Happy Cross-Cultural Marriage

1.It’s up to you
2.Get to know your partner’s many faces
3.Success stories

<Epilogue>

Writing A Book

In my blog entry posted on Jan 22, I wrote “publish a book” as one of my goals. When I cbsntype-main_fullwrote it, I had no idea how I was going to make it happen. In the same blog post, I also wrote that “What” always comes before “How”. The first thing I did was to put it on my vision board.

I then started talking to people and asking those who have published how they did it. I went back to Japan for 2.5 weeks in March with my family, where I met lots of people. Most of them were my friends I’ve known for years, but I also met new people, two of them I discovered through social media. I continued discussing my book ideas with them. One person gave me advice on how to write a book proposal, another person shared effective presentation techniques to book editors, yet another suggested how to identify potential publishing companies for my book ideas by going to bookstores. Two days before I left Japan, I got a call inviting me to meet up with an editor of a publishing company. I met her the next day, and I presented my proposals, and I came back to San Diego. Then, just a few days ago, I learned that they liked my proposal and that they thought it was worth publishing!

I am just amazed at how quickly this whole thing is unfolding. Some might call it luck, and I certainly feel very fortunate, but I believe that this series of events came about because I put my focus on it. Now I am very excited that I get to actually write this book. I intend to enjoy the every step of this journey.